Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Almost

It's been a while since I've posted, mostly because it's been a while since I've had anything to say.
Today I have something to say. 
I am going to be self-indulgent for a moment, so forgive me. 
Last night I was finishing up some work at my computer when I thought I smelled something very irritating. Now I know I can't smell, but sometimes very strong scents can trigger a sinus reaction for me, which this did, but sometimes with that happens, there is a distinct fragrance to it. I can't identify it, but something is there.
Because of that, I have had a secret: lately I've been wondering if I was starting to smell even a little bit again, but without anything to go off of, I can't ever be sure. 
So "smelling" whatever this was was the same sort of confusing. 
I checked my oven -- off. 
Stove -- off. 
Candles -- out. 
I looked outside, and nothing explained it. 
Nothing was burning, no alarms, nothing at all. 
But it would not go away. 
Those with a proper sense of smell can use another object to weaken or get rid of whatever horrible smell bothers them. Even just plugging their nose helps. 
I tried that. 
Nothing. 
I went to bed, smelled my sheet, pillowcase, hands... I couldn't get rid of it. It was overwhelming and confusing and aggravating, but I started to wonder, and hope, that maybe I could smell again even a little... And I started to wonder if I even wanted to smell again if it was going to feel like this. 
Today at work one of the rooms next to us apparently smelled horrible so I offered to go in with our odor spray to work on that. And what had made other people gag and hold their breath had absolutely no effect on me. 
Not even a sinus trigger. 
So I'm right back to where I started. And that's somehow still painful after all this time.
I don't want to be looking for my sense of smell to come back. I don't want to always wonder if it will, hope it does, wait for it to...
I don't want to deal with the overwhelming almost smells that make me feel like I'm going crazy all over again.
I don't want to be surprised by this anymore.
I just want to adjust and be set in my adjustment.

And I thought I was.

2 comments:

  1. That must be so frustrating! I how you can find that place of adjustment soon. Hugs!

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  2. Hi Rebecca,
    I was checking out your books and noticed your blog on not being to smell. I thought I would share my story with you, Maybe, it will help you.

    One year, I had a terrible, lingering cold. I had an infant so I only dared use nasal spray, so that I could sleep at night. I didn't read the directions and after using the spray for about 7 days, I suddenly felt a blood vessel pop and I lost my sense of smell. Here's the good part that I thought might help you: About a year later, I decided to try a vegetable juice cleanse to see if I could get rid of headaches that I was getting at the time. To my surprise, about 3 days into the cleanse, the same blood vessel starting hurting. It hurt about 1/2 an hour and all of a sudden my sense of smell came back. It was amazing! Now my family laughs about my great sense of smell. I don't know if a vegetable juice and water cleanse would help you, but it might be worth a try. I would also suggest searching out and finding a really great chiropractor and they are not all created equal. Good luck! Vicki

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